Ramadan Reflection

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful.

Ramadan is coming to an end. It is so despairing to bid Ramadan farewell. There is some reflections I made throughout the month.

My personal reflection:

1. Heart is what matters! Take a look on it. Work on it. Heart is like a control center of everything. If your heart is good, everything else that comes will also be good as well. If your heart is bad, whatever comes within it will radiates bad. I keep reminding myself before I begin my days to set my intention pure, always think about positive things therefore to eliminate or shoo away all those negative thoughts because I believe we will gain what we thought of. Thus, it's important to think about good things all the time. You never know when Allah answers your indirect prayers without realizing it through what we think what we say. Speak only good things and eliminate bad thoughts. Let's do it!

2. Sincerity, humility before Allah. Always always always set the intention right. Not for people but solely for Allah! Everything began by setting the right intention.

3. Love, fear and hope in chasing Night of Degree; Laylatul Qadar. (The most important note is not just within the pillars of the mosques but it includes every single aspects in our life).  

"Don't search for Laylat Al-Qadr only between the pillars of mosques, also look for it in the pleasure of a father, a mother, a brother, and a sister and in connecting ties of kinship, and clothing a naked person, giving security to a sacred one, removing oppression, sponsoring an orphan and helping a sick person. search for it in the Lord's pleasure, departing from the sin in your conscience before searching for it in your mosques, because good actions protect against bad ends."

-Ahmed 'Isa El-Ma'sarawi.

The relationship with the parents especially my mom, my dearest siblings, nenek, my staffs, my beloved students, friends and everyone! The test I've been given on how to be and stay gentle in the most tough time I've ever had especially dealing with my mom, which supposed to be my key to paradise. The hardest part about it, it involves my mother, the ones who brought me up to this live the one who raised me up the one who has sacrificed her lifetime to be as dedicated as a dutiful mom. How would I forget that? I must've not forgetten that. But the path to paradise isn't that easy. I had it difficult. My ustadha even mentioned that this test going to be the path to paradise. This is the struggle that I need to work on to, for my growth to be do better and be better. Hang in there.

One thing I learned throughout my spiritual journey is that worship does not only limited within the pillars of the mosque but it is beyond that. It is within my life, my everyday life dealing, encountering and facing the ups and downs of this temporary life. It is all about the whole parts of life which leads me to Him. I am reconsidering my career path either to keep striving till the end or just end it up and start a new one. It started to torn me off. I began to learn to reconsider my own feelings, my own needs. It is quite stressful each day dealing with those tiny little humans (when they're throwing tantrum sobs!). Somehow I just couldn't take it anymore. The screams, the endless cries it just take a toll. I think that's enough for me, for my mental health especially. There is time I don't want to wake up, I wished I didn't wake up for a work. It drained me. I feel want to puke. I was drowning instead of improving. The moment I had it enough I keep reminding myself about my difficulty is what has written to strengthen not just my well being but my Imaan as well! I know this test to prepare me for something greater. It takes ages to mould myself in the form of instilling patience in my soul. Honestly, it is not easy one for me. I preserved myself, endure all the pain. Nevertheless there's also the good memories too! For that I learned how to put my total reliance on Him alone. For all the experienced I've been through, it is totally worth it. Worth the ticket of my long spiritual journey. Welcome, on board, Izzaty! It is never be easy but worth it in the end of it. Hang in there.

Before I end my writing here, there is a few key notes I would like to share regarding ways to attain Allah's immense mercy. I hope it is beneficial to whom read this.

1. Renew intention
One of the sister shared with us on how she helps herself in setting the intention right by writing down the intention. Secondly, speak and ask yourself regularly about your actions by asking is it ok if I do this, why am I doing this, to whom I hope for a praise from, never expect anything from people etc. Last but not least, get to know the Creator. Learn about Him. From there you will grow the love of Him.

2. Do good deeds even smaller regularly and constantly! "Surely, Allah loves those who do good." (Al Baqarah:195)

3. To be merciful towards others. The Prophet (pbuh) said, be merciful so that the one above will be merciful to you. "And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give (aid) to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause of Allah, and let them pardon and overlook. would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful (An Nur:22).

4. Seeking knowledge. (When Allah intend something good to someone He gave you the understanding about Deen knowledge).

5. Remember death. Nothing is matter anymore if you know death can come to you in anytime! It will help you to shift your focus on doing good and good only :)

Ramadan draws to a close. I wish it would stay a little longer. But, nothing lasts. For the very last moment, let's sprint the final days with our best efforts to gain His bountiful mercy. Ameen!